The point marked X The 'treasure' you have been looking for.
when i turn around and saw it, my left side of brain will like 'omg why like that... why dun wan try...' then my right side of my brain will like 'ok chill chill. its other people not me'
when i looked in another direction, i will 'why u seem like a stranger to me', and suddenly i blinked and said 'oh you are your usual self' and i blinked again and 'are we from different worlds? why cant we get along', and for a moment, i felt my heart thumping like crazy.
4 different reactions, but its just the same thing.
then i turned again. cold war for a second, buddies for the next second.
This also applies to the 2nd one.
I looked over.
For a moment, i felt, wow so fun to be together. the next i felt, i didnt want to get along at all.
I looked behind. Way way behind.
why were the best buddies in the world, and when i took a step forward, it seems like your memory of us were like gone in your brain. why we suddenly became competitive and stubborn, and CHILDISH?
ok one is getting more obvious than the previous.
today me rashid liting genghao were talking in mac.
they had their own stories. i felt that every story really had a moral to learn from.
i spoke nothing. Why? Because, i didnt experience i single damn setback.
This is the reason why i stayed so immature. And the more i think im mature, the more im not.
Actually, there were so many things happening in the past. but i did not recall them.
when im supposed to feel angry about a certain thing, im not.
That doesn't mean i am optimistic or sth, its because i couldn't care less about whats happening.
there are many embarrassing things happening too.
but i choose to forget these embarrassing thoughts when they came into my mind.
cuz? its embarrassing.
but shouldn't i think that they are sth to learn from?
for example, i had a privelege of being a CCA leader.
but what did i gain from it? nothing meaningful. just hatred, and strong competition, and bootlicking, and all the stupid thoughts.
that is why i didnt grow up. mentally. it may even affect my physical maturity too. so you see me, like that.
and i just cleared things out with my parents over me being an introvert. am i made a mistake.
i always thought that being an introvert means you are quiet, dun like to talk and make friends, bla bla.
but im wrong, after what mr victor ong had said.
im like what he said, i choose not to confide in people about my problems. my REAL problems.
and WORSE OF ALL, i DONT even know what my real problems are.
im serious.
i choose to keep everything inside of me.
For the friday MBTI thingy, im waiting for it. To see whether i am in or ex.
Or is there even this segment about this?
Also, i admre those 'courageous enough to do that' people.
Well,i admire them.
But why didnt i learn from them?
whats the point of standing there and looking at those success of other people, and just doing nothing.
but i think its the right thing to do.
or maybe im a coward.
why those songs which were supposed to be happy are emo to me?
it actually depends on the time when i 1st hear the song.
and when these songs are emo, i know sth's wrong.
the time when i heard the song was the time when im sad, im down, wadeva.
so its like, theres so many emo songs to me.
that means im not a happy person.
due to my brain. due to my thoughts mentioned at the start. due to my 'forget about it' feeling. due to my childish-ness. due to my cowardness. due to my irresponsibility.
i want to live a life with no regrets, be brave, be happy.
most importantly, i want a normal life.
i dun wan to be abnormal.
Come on Christon! Come on!
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Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cant Stay Away - Kris Allen
This song super nice! :) Sounds like a Daughtry type of song...
Holidays ended today... :(
And i havent even touched 3/4 of my homework! Screwed.
English article, Chinese compo, A maths worksheet(left half), E maths paper (left 3/4), Physics worksheet(left 3/4), Chemistry ?? (dun even noe what is the homework), Biology?? (dunno oso)
Combined Humanities should have no homework... i think. For SS read the textbook only, which i wont read -.-
Tuition ytd i spent the whole time trying to prevent my mucus from flowing out. And i 4got bring tissue -.-When teacher went out, i secretly go out to take tissue -.- Then i take one piece still not enough. Then have to control.
Stressful tuition. Like learn aot of extra things that seem impt to the tuition teacher. But i like the way she teach how to tackle compre qns.
Church. like Pastor Tan's message. And his sermons always finish on time :)
Fellowship with Tina's cell... So now both our cell very bonded? Which i dunno when that happened. And we even might have cell tgt.
Went home at 11pm ytd, and my bro accused me of saying more vulgar since i went church. Like wth?! You speak a hundred times more than me pls.
Tonight man utd vs LIVERPOOL! I want to watch! Maybe trying web streaming.
It didnt rain on Wednesday morning, and rained throughout the whole week -.- SIAN.
Bye. Have to chiong homework alr. Someone give me a Chinese compo hot topic? Cant think of one.
~You'll Never Walk Alone.~
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Sunday, January 10, 2010
the end?
im changing my blog.
Find my blog address in this paragraph:
'I'n changong my blog addqess. You cin try to unkode it. Iosers. Losirs. Xee if you kan figure it qut. Ny insqiration as from A Series Of Unfortunate Events. That's alk i con fell you. Lnteresting? I like sherlick holmes right omot? LOL. Thix is lame.'
LOL. Only smart people know. Bye. ^^
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LOL
Instead of revising for tests, i chose to act like some computer geek and created a photo using photoshop.
It's rather successful, i think. My blog photo :)
Wow. This is a good way of venting my anger. Not really venting, but like doing it to make myself happy.
But my photoshop is a 30 day trial :(
I dunno how do all those cropping and crap, so still got the background of the photos.
'Liverpool - Gerrard - Torres' collage :)
I dunno why i feel scared when im doing this. Is either i expect too much of myself, or i scared that later the blogskinner say copyright or sth.
Bye.
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Oops
I always forgot what i want to blog...
Sezairi got 61% votes while Sylvia got 39% votes?! You gotta be joking seriously!
Now Sezairi is like a forgotten man. Hehe.
Actually, Singapore Idol is a forgotten contest.
Ytd, church. pastor Tan about visions. I need visions.......
Dunno why ytd i cant concentrate in church. Like im thinking about other stuff.
Yiren bought some headphone in Eastphone which sucked. Partly my fault. Gonna change it.
Happy Birthday Rashid! If i cant blog tml...
Sorry for not having an outing today. Cuz like dunno what activities to do.
Bye.
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We used to breathe without a doubt...
Sec 4 life is really stupid, ruining people's happy childhood.
Tml O'lvl Chinese results, not expecting too much.
I dun wan to get ulcer before going to the dentist!
Just found out the meaning of the 'Creation of Adam' picture by Michelangelo. Got alot of meanings. Very nice.
Birmingham 1 Man Utd 1!!! WOO
Arsenal 2 Everton 2 -.-
Dunno why, i still got a feeling that Liverpool can still win the Premier League.
Didnt noe a blog kept private led to so many people reading it.
Boring, as usual. SS test coming up. Read textbook enough la.
That's all. Boring right.
~You'll Never Walk Alone.~
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Saturday, January 9, 2010
Weird...
Im supposed to be scared for my O'lvl results on Mon. Instead, im worrying about other things. Like test on tues, then i got dentist at 4, scared i cannot make it after the results, and also the china trip presentation.
Who cares about results? XD Positive thinking? Or neglect?
I hate my body. I cant take long strides. I cant be fast. Stamina is not a factor alr. :(
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